Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Life Has a Funny Way

I need to vent, so this is a zero-pic post. 
This weekend, I went to Helsinki with a bunch of girls. I came home Sunday night, and everything was fine. Husband picked me up in the middle of the night, and had even made a very late dinner for me. 
The next day, I woke up at around 3pm, ventured downstairs still half asleep, and found him on a sour mood. He went to the shops for groceries, and after he came home, he said We Need To Talk.

Don't we all just love the conversations that begin like that... We need to talk, and as it turns out, there's nothing for you to say really. 

We got married in June, 2007. Today, March 23rd, 2015, he said he's had it. 
We're getting divorced. 

I should be devastated writing this, but I'm not. I'm a bit angry, a bit sad, and quite worried about the future, but not a weeping mess. 
Drunk, yes, but not a mess. 
Gemini are funny that way. When something goes horridly wrong, we flip for two hours, and then say, oh well, could be worse. It could be raining. 

It is raining, by the way. The skies are weeping for me as it seems. 

Or maybe for him. I think he has it worse than I do. 

Anyway. Vent. 

I don't think I ever expected this to last forever. We met when we were both broken up about previous relationships, got married pretty hastily, and have always been a bit distant to each other. We've shared our lives, but not innermost secrets. 

We started out as friends, and we're going to remain friends. There was no drama, other than the two hours of him being scared about having to tell me this, and me being upset about what he told me. There is no hatred, no betrayed trust, no nothing. Just love that somehow went away, and somehow still remains. 

In my opinion, break-ups should go like this. No real hurt, no real pain, no shattering of lives. Just change, a slow alteration. 

I'm going to remain here until I get everything sorted out. This means I'm going to have to find more work, and to make my small business turn real profit. For this, I may require a bit of help. Spread the word if you can, and please leave tips on where to advertise my patterns and ready-to-wear garments. 

It's going to be a rough year. 

After my last break-up, I lingered on the brink of death for six months. I'd lost the only friend I had, and my whole life had broken to a million pieces. 
This time, I have a strong safety net. I'll be fine. 
Just need a bit of love right now. 


Sunday, March 8, 2015

So you swore never to dye your hair again?

A few years back, I chopped my hair short after a dye-disaster. I'd hennaed my hair for a long time, and got annoyed with red. I dyed over it with a store-bought brown, and.. well, it went black. I can't pull off pitch-black hair, so I decided to want my natural colour back. As I am both impulsive and impatient, I grew it for three months, and chopped it off. 

Short hair was fun for a while, but I started missing long hair pretty quick. Good thing this grows fast, so last spring I had gained both length and my natural tone. 
Which is brown. A nice, lively brown, but still very brown. 
And a bit boring actually. 
This pic is about 11 months old, but it shows my natural tone pretty well. 

A week ago, my annual spring breakdown culminated with me staring into the mirror wondering what the hell I was thinking when I figured a natural brown would look really nice on me. I wear black all the time, and it makes my hair look bland and dull. 
So the impulsive Heather sighed, and remembered the last package of henna safely stored into a cupboard. 

Mmm, red, I thought, and literally slapped myself on the wrist. Last time, I loved the red. But. Maintaining it isn't a real picnic. It takes a whole day every two months, and henna smells funky, and it's messy, and it's hard to find good quality henna here in Finland. 
Twirling a strand of mousy brown around my fingers, I sighed again, and prepared the witch's brew. 

I use natural henna powder with no added ingredients. The powder is green to begin with (the photo is from the internet, btw), and smells like dried hay. It's very fine, and turns into dust as it's poured out of the bag. I add warm water (not too hot, boiling water can be lethal to henna) and a bit of coffee, and mix the stuff into a smooth, silky gunk. I let it sit for two hours, and apply. To hair. 

I've given up wearing gloves when applying. Rubber clings to hair, pulls at it painfully, and since henna isn't poisonous (you shouldn't eat it, though), I just let it stain my hands. It'll rub off in a week or so. 

This is also old, I snapped it after the last times I did henna. My hands looked the same after this time, though!

So. A week ago, I was home alone as I made the choice to go red. I warmed up the sauna, added the gunk to my hair and walked half naked into the living room not knowing Husband had returned. I was dripping with reddish brown liquid, and made my cool-as-a-cucumber Husband say "what the fuck have you done". It was fun. After a quick explanation of "I wanted to be red", he said OK, and I spent the next four hours in the sauna. 

Henna-gunk is drippy and messy, so it's a good idea to wrap something, anything, around it. I used a piece of cotton, and looked very fetching in my stained head wrap <3

Previously, henna has been a right bitch (sorry) to rinse out, and I was very worried this time since our water pressure is a bit low. I was very surprised to find it wash off really easily. 
After a thorough wash, it was orange. And I was happy. 
It takes a few days for hennaed hair to settle. During this time, the colour turns from orange to a deeper tone of red, depending on your natural tone. I got a subtle shade of auburn, and I'm really happy with it. Since my hair had natural lighter streaks, my red has multiple tones. 

This is my hair in natural light. The tone changes according to light and angle, so I'm still staring at myself in the mirror more than usual. 

As suspected, one can no longer find pure henna in Finland. But not to worry, ebay came to the rescue. Once I get my order of henna, I'll do another coat to all of my hair. After, I'll only have to do all of it maybe once a year since henna doesn't fade like commercial dyes. 
So. All the red clothes I have now look bad on me <3