Monday, August 29, 2011

And she alone was truly alone

Jay is gone. Flown to the world like a dark butterfly. And I am sad.

Never before have I felt this way after publishing. I've always felt exhilarated, freed of a nightmare, but this time an indescribable sense of loneliness filled me. I sat outside, after, having a fag, and it was like I had lost a loved one.

Hope she does well on her own.

So. Published. Look!

The cover gave me a hard time. I thought about it throughout the birth, which was easy and painless, and the day before yesterday it Came to me.

When things Come to you, they're usually right.

I wanted a woman's face on the cover, in red, only half of it. Drawn. I didn't want to ask hubby since I wanted it NOW and he's a Taurus which means he's not that quick about anything, so I did it myself. And I think it actually turned out quite nice.

I asked hubby if it totally suck ass (he paints, well) and he looked at it, and a funny look crept up on his face, and he said it didn't suck at all. Later he said something artsy about shadows, I didn't really understand it, but I did rezognize it as a compliment.

So. Fifth child, driven out.

Scary shit.

On Thursday I'll be going away for a week. Hubby's going camping to Lapland, and since my sister lives along the way, he's taking me there so I don't have to be home alone. So it's kinda like a holiday.

Again, scary shit :D Anyway, I get to spend quality time with my niece (note to self: pack pink nailvarnish) and chill.

Thinking about starting a new book.
Taking a holiday is a foreign concept to me.

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