Jay is gone. Flown to the world like a dark butterfly. And I am sad.
Never before have I felt this way after publishing. I've always felt exhilarated, freed of a nightmare, but this time an indescribable sense of loneliness filled me. I sat outside, after, having a fag, and it was like I had lost a loved one.
Hope she does well on her own.
So. Published. Look!
The cover gave me a hard time. I thought about it throughout the birth, which was easy and painless, and the day before yesterday it Came to me.
When things Come to you, they're usually right.
I wanted a woman's face on the cover, in red, only half of it. Drawn. I didn't want to ask hubby since I wanted it NOW and he's a Taurus which means he's not that quick about anything, so I did it myself. And I think it actually turned out quite nice.
I asked hubby if it totally suck ass (he paints, well) and he looked at it, and a funny look crept up on his face, and he said it didn't suck at all. Later he said something artsy about shadows, I didn't really understand it, but I did rezognize it as a compliment.
So. Fifth child, driven out.
On Thursday I'll be going away for a week. Hubby's going camping to Lapland, and since my sister lives along the way, he's taking me there so I don't have to be home alone. So it's kinda like a holiday.
Again, scary shit :D Anyway, I get to spend quality time with my niece (note to self: pack pink nailvarnish) and chill.
Thinking about starting a new book.
Taking a holiday is a foreign concept to me.